I created this piece almost 2 decades ago. Unfortunately I have no recollection of where my original has gone.
This was created on a 2x2m canvas with up to 5x sealant layering and finished with acrylic paint.
I struggled a lot with my body image growing up, facing obesity and a constant need for peer-to-peer gratification. It made me chase a lot of fads and aim for that ‘perfect’ body.
Everywhere I looked, it seemed like my amygdala (survival brain) would be triggered and screaming at my neocortex (logical brain) and I would just go into some sort of self-panic.
I suffered mentally and physically during that period of my life. In the end, all I wanted was to be at peace with what I was and who I am.
The layering and colours are a depiction of the internal struggle hidden away, that a person would not be able to see unless they go deeper.
I realised body image issues like these aren’t unique to a gender or body type. Men, women – be it fat, skinny, muscular, toned – all are susceptible to this.